


Bathe Like a Commoner

by zombie_honeymoon



Series: Loki's Life as a Goat [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fifteen Minute Fic, Flash Fic, Gen, Gen Work, Loki lives with Jane and Darcy, Post-Thor (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:57:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombie_honeymoon/pseuds/zombie_honeymoon
Summary: Loki is disgusted by the bathroom he is expected to use at Jane's, there's even a toilet brush hanging in the window. He would rather bathe in the front yard.





	Bathe Like a Commoner

**Author's Note:**

> Another 15 minute fic.  
Loki is apparently living with Jane and Darcy for whatever reasons, and possibly working with SHIELD. I'd say this is another post-Thor AU. Could be loosely connected to my previous ficlet with these three, I'm wondering if I should make it a series? Anyways, please enjoy, these are just for fun and for me to familiarize myself with the characters again.

Well lit but dingy and cramped. Not suitable even for peasants. That’s what Loki thought of the bathroom he currently stood in and was expected to bathe in. He looked at the toilet, so close to the bathtub, and in the window between both, hung what he was sure was a toilet scrubber. 

Disgusting.

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. There was no way they could force him to use this abomination. What sort of savages would put the toilet in the same room as the sink and tub? And he had heard the Midgardians had made great advances in recent years. 

Clearly not. 

He turned to leave, opening the door only to be met with a stern look from Jane.

“Just where are you going? You stink. Shower. Now.”  
  
“No.” Loki lifted his chin in defiance, “How can I? It’s disgusting in here.”  
  
She laughed at him, “Disgusting? It was just cleaned this morning. You could eat off the floor in there.”  
  
The thought made Loki lose any appetite he had.

“Get in there. It’s the only bathroom in this house, so get used to it.”  
  
“I’d much rather bathe in the yard.” Loki told her and then brightened, “In fact, that’s exactly what I’ll do.” He pushed past her as she sputtered.

“Bathe… in the yard? Loki, no! You can’t do that here!”  
  
He was already outside and turning on the hose, “I can and will.”  
  
“No.” Jane reached down and shut off the water, “You’re already in enough trouble, you don’t need to add public nudity to your long list of offenses.”  
  
Just then Darcy drove up, and hopped out of the van, a bag of groceries in hand, “Hey Jane, what’s going on?”  
  
“He thinks our bathroom is gross and refuses to take a shower.”  
  
“Well tell him he needs to, he smells like old cheese.” Darcy wrinkled her nose as she got closer, “Seriously, didn’t SHIELD let you use the showers at all while you were there? But what are you doing out here? We’re supposed to be keeping him inside, out of sight.”  
  
Jane yanked the hose away from Loki, “He was going to take his shower out here.”  
  
“That something you do on Asgard? Get naked in the streets? Well I’ve got news for you, pal. You can’t do that here! So get in the house, and get in the bathroom, and use it. You’re not a prince anymore. Get used to living like the commoners do. And trust me when I say that bathroom could be a hell of a lot worse.”  
  
Together with Jane, they got Loki herded inside and back into the bathroom. 

“You got deodorant for him?” Jane asked.

“I sure did. Check it out, ‘fresh pine’ scent.” She reached into the bag and handed it to her boss who opened it and smelled it, “Nice, huh?”  
  
“Yeah, anything’s better than how he smells now.”  
  
“I can hear you!” Loki shouted from the other side of the door. 

A few seconds later they heard the water being turned on and both breathed a sigh of relief.


End file.
